Sunday, August 21, 2005

Australian Restraint

Gangs of wild Australians are roaming the Brit countryside. But after a clergyman killed one of their number, the Australian government has refused to demand reparations.

Rector on wild wallaby watch after 70mph collision on M1

Mr. Trott, a member of the General Synod, was returning from a holiday in France with his family when his Peugeot 407 struck the animal at night. The accident left the car badly damaged and the wallaby, normally a native of Australia, dead.

"I was simply relieved to keep the car on the road. My children were upset - they like cuddly, furry things," he said yesterday. "I suppose it shouldn't have been such a surprise because about 15 years ago I saw a kangaroo sitting on the hard shoulder of the M1. My wife thought I had been drinking but I was stone, cold sober at the time."

Although the police were called in to investigate, it is not yet clear where the white wallaby came from. A spokeswoman for nearby Woburn Safari Park in Bedfordshire said none of its wallabies was missing but there were thought to be pockets of wild wallabies in the region.

Just as well for the Reverend it wasn't one of the pockets of wild Brazilian three-toed sloths.