Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Lawyers

I've been sparring with these pests today, so haven't finished the posts on Iraq and Mexico. In case you haven't received the email, here are some allegedly real statements made in court from (I believe) this book.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.


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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?


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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.


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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.


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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.