Sunday, October 09, 2005

And The Winner Is...

A spy in Stockholm has provided the list of Nobel Peace Prize winners for the first decade of the 21st century - apparently choosing winners in batches of 10 frees up the selection committee for peace struggles.

2001: Kofi Annan
For his moral rectitude, honesty, and concern for children.

2002: Jimmy Carter
For his loyalty, judgment and competence.

2003: Shirin Ebadi
For the creation of the female-friendly state of Iran.

2004: Wangar Maathai
For being a female African environmentalist.

2005: Mohamed Elbaradei
For preventing North Korea and Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons .

2006: Slobodan Milošević
For services to "peace and brotherhood among peoples".

2007: Saddam Hussein (posthumous) and Abu Musab al-Zarqawi (posthumous)
For their courageous but sadly unsuccessful "Sunni Side Up" peace program.

2008: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (posthumous)
For his eco-friendly use of nuclear weapons and subsequent martyrdom.

2009: Hu Jintao (posthumous)
For his courageous attempt to solve the Taiwan Problem and for facilitating space for the establishment of the International Freedom Center in the ruins of Beijing.

2010: Vladimir Putin
For his establishment of the Russian Empire Of Co-Prosperity and Peace.