Sunday, October 23, 2005

Dead Parrot

Brit health experts are developing a new and deadly Dead Parrot Sketch.

The original:

Customer: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Pet Store Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's, uh...What's wrong with it?

Customer: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Pet Store Owner: No, no, 'e's uh...he's resting.

The new:

The Department for Environment Food and Rural Affairs said that a parrot has died from bird flu in quarantine. It said the H5 strain of the virus was isolated in a parrot imported from South America, which arrived in this country in mid-September.

Micro-biologist Professor Hugh Pennington said he was not surprised by bird flu had reached Britain.

"The thing about the H5N1 strain is that it's very good at getting about."

Sure Professor, arranging to be imported by parrot in the cargo hold of a 747 is a fiendishly clever viral propagation strategy.